So after playing "Dead Rising 2" for a few days, I have to say that your opinion of the game will depend largely on how much you liked the first game.
The first "Dead Rising" did a few things well, namely: zombie carnage. To date, I have yet to play a more fun game for sheer zombie death. Pitting you against hundreds of zombies with quite literally any weapon at your disposal fulfilled the zombie hunter fantasy within me on many, many levels. There are few things more satisfying than beating to death a walking dead monstrosity with a golf club, or even better, the samurai sword.
Another thing they did well was a time limit. As anyone who knows me knows, I am nothing if not anal retentive when it comes to games. I explore every nook and cranny and open every box (it could be filled with chocolate, okay?) in attempt to get 100% completion/exploration bonuses. However, on the other hand, I also hate a false sense of urgency. "Mass Effect 2" comes to mind most readily as the "omg, we have to get out here, we're going to die!!! ... as soon as you trigger the quick time event. You know, whenever." If it's going to be urgent, make it friggin' urgent. Give me a challenge, people!
"Dead Rising" did just that. Giving everything a time limit, along with a time limit for the entire game (x-hours before the gov't comes to bust you out of hock), really tested your RPG seek-and-loot skills to the max.
Things "Dead Rising" did not do so well were story, plot, dialog and voice acting. The entire game wreaked of a Japanese game trying to cater to Western players. And let's face it, Japanese players and Western players have very different standards (aka "The MGS Raiden Phenomenon") . When not massacring zombies en masse, the game felt, at best, like a dull movie you're watching because nothing else is on, and at worst, like nails on a blackboard.
"Dead Rising 2" is back and suffers from the same drawbacks: kickass game play hampered by awful dialog, characters, acting and story. In fact, it's not only similar to "Dead Rising," it's practically the same game. There are some improvements, such as the save system and the awesome new "combo" feature that allows you to combine two weapons into a new killing machine, but really, it plays like it should have been a DLC rather than a whole new game.
Having said that, the combo system really is awesome. Combine a bucket with drills to make a zombie-eating, well, bucket, and the tired and true "nails + baseball bat." The only problem with combos is that you break to a blessedly-short (but quickly annoying) cut scene of Chuck intensely working to combine two items. Now this works for, say, the lawnmower, or fire extinguisher, but nails and a baseball bat? No, I don't think so.
Overall, I recommend the game for die-hard fans of the first who want to relive the joy of killing your way through throngs of zombies, but personally, I'd wait to buy it used. In fact, I plan on selling back my copy as soon as I finish it; and I never sell back games.
Sunday, October 3, 2010
Saturday, August 28, 2010
Why I am done with WoW
Cataclysm is around the corner and with the promise of worgen and Deathwing, I once again find myself really, really, really considering running out and buying the damn xpac. BUT, I'd also have to buy Wrath and that does give me pause. Fortunately I have come to my senses and here is why:
We started playing WoW in November of '04. We hooked up with a friend in January of '05 and threw ourselves in 100%. We played until November of '08, at which point, it was time to quit. I found myself shaking my staff at newbies who did not know who Nef was. I found myself pining for the good ol' days of actual rep grinding. And fishing, my most beloved of past times, was now popular. Egads!
I remember when Scholo was a friggin' PITA. Before the original nerf patch, when the instance was at least a 2 hour venture. To anyone who remembers these days, all I should have to say is the zombie room and have you cringe. I remember when UBRS required an actual strategy. I can remember wiping at the end, and having to sneak back in cat form to rez a damn priest or pally.
I remember when Vael was referred to as "The Guild Breaker." Longest 4% of health EVER. I remember spending hours upon hours of grinding, killing, gathering and collecting to get 3 pts. of rep. I can remember farming for hours to trade for dark iron ore to get the damn +22 enchant.
I remember AQ40 and the first time you encountered Hulu. I can remember spending hours looking for a damn group to go fight a world dragon. But most importantly, I remember being the one of the first druids on our server to have full Stormrage, the diamond ring from Nef and the pineapple staff from the world dragons.
And then Burning Crusade came and my epic, pimped out gear was suddenly gimped and I had to do the level grind again. Okay, I guess. Why not? Wait ... the friggin' draenei? Wth?! Gah, nvm, the raging fanboy is trying to digress.
The game was suddenly filled with n00bs who thought the rep grind was a PITA. Who would never see Nef. Who would never farm for Wildheart. Raiding was lame, PvP was lame... I was just over it.
Now people with whom I work want me to get back in the game on a "casual" basis. The problem being that I am not a casual player. I want to raid, and raid it right. I am a farmer. I will log on 4 hours before a raid and craft, enchant and cook to prepare. I will be at the instance 30 minutes before and help summon. And God help us if someone is late or if we have to PuG. Because 4 years of a world where PuGs were embedded in the 7th level of hell, have ingrained within me that I do not party with people I do not know. If I'm logging on to go party with strangers, what's the point?
I miss joking on Vent and hearing Med yell for more Dots, more DPS! I miss cursing Sheyla for drawing aggro. I miss Pally tank healing. I miss the good old days. And no amount of bells and whistles can bring that back.
And really, the people with whom I work think I'm strange enough as it is. I don't need them seeing that I'm a friggin' hardcore, old school MMORPGer, too. :)
We started playing WoW in November of '04. We hooked up with a friend in January of '05 and threw ourselves in 100%. We played until November of '08, at which point, it was time to quit. I found myself shaking my staff at newbies who did not know who Nef was. I found myself pining for the good ol' days of actual rep grinding. And fishing, my most beloved of past times, was now popular. Egads!
I remember when Scholo was a friggin' PITA. Before the original nerf patch, when the instance was at least a 2 hour venture. To anyone who remembers these days, all I should have to say is the zombie room and have you cringe. I remember when UBRS required an actual strategy. I can remember wiping at the end, and having to sneak back in cat form to rez a damn priest or pally.
I remember when Vael was referred to as "The Guild Breaker." Longest 4% of health EVER. I remember spending hours upon hours of grinding, killing, gathering and collecting to get 3 pts. of rep. I can remember farming for hours to trade for dark iron ore to get the damn +22 enchant.
I remember AQ40 and the first time you encountered Hulu. I can remember spending hours looking for a damn group to go fight a world dragon. But most importantly, I remember being the one of the first druids on our server to have full Stormrage, the diamond ring from Nef and the pineapple staff from the world dragons.
And then Burning Crusade came and my epic, pimped out gear was suddenly gimped and I had to do the level grind again. Okay, I guess. Why not? Wait ... the friggin' draenei? Wth?! Gah, nvm, the raging fanboy is trying to digress.
The game was suddenly filled with n00bs who thought the rep grind was a PITA. Who would never see Nef. Who would never farm for Wildheart. Raiding was lame, PvP was lame... I was just over it.
Now people with whom I work want me to get back in the game on a "casual" basis. The problem being that I am not a casual player. I want to raid, and raid it right. I am a farmer. I will log on 4 hours before a raid and craft, enchant and cook to prepare. I will be at the instance 30 minutes before and help summon. And God help us if someone is late or if we have to PuG. Because 4 years of a world where PuGs were embedded in the 7th level of hell, have ingrained within me that I do not party with people I do not know. If I'm logging on to go party with strangers, what's the point?
I miss joking on Vent and hearing Med yell for more Dots, more DPS! I miss cursing Sheyla for drawing aggro. I miss Pally tank healing. I miss the good old days. And no amount of bells and whistles can bring that back.
And really, the people with whom I work think I'm strange enough as it is. I don't need them seeing that I'm a friggin' hardcore, old school MMORPGer, too. :)
Friday, August 27, 2010
Awaiting "New Vegas."
While I've had very little game time as of late (work is insane), I have to say I am genuinely happy for "New Vegas." (I will be at the midnight release, come hell or high water)
It may come as a surprise to those who know me that "Fallout 3" appealed to me in the least. While I vastly prefer Warhammer 40,000 to Warhammer, and am not a huge fantasy book fan in general, I do prefer my RPGs to be fantasy rather than sci-fi. "Dragon Age" was far and away better than "Mass Effect" to me, and I must preferred "Morrowind" to "Fallout 2."
But for some strange reason, "Fallout 3" really struck a chord with me. The plot was "okay," and the difficulty curve was definitely on the shallow end (as someone pointed out, I was wallpapering my house with money, health and ammo), but there's something about the ginormous, "eh, do what you want..." feeling to a game that I really like.
"Oblivion" annoyed the pants off of me because of the damn Oblivion gates. The gates were little more than plot-driven cliff racers, though there wasn't a patch to get rid of them. And, as a devout Morag Tong supported, it galled me to join the Dark Brotherhood. But I digress.
"Fallout 3" sucked away more hours of my life than I care to admit to and I genuinely enjoyed every aspect. It was one of the few games that I did not want to beat because I didn't want it to be over. But eventually all things must end and after a few DLCs, I beat the game and retired it to the game-case.
"New Vegas" looks like the equivalent of "Bloodmoon," the expansion pack that, as anyone who knows me knows, I revere above all other x-packs. As I griped here (seemingly) an age ago, "Dragon Age: Awakening" was one of my biggest disappointments in x-packs. It had substance, but no purpose. "New Vegas" (like "Bloodmoon") looks to have both.
Hopefully I'll see y'all at midnight. Now, it's back to drooling over Tyson Rios in "AoT: 4oth Day," because there's something wrong with my head. :)
It may come as a surprise to those who know me that "Fallout 3" appealed to me in the least. While I vastly prefer Warhammer 40,000 to Warhammer, and am not a huge fantasy book fan in general, I do prefer my RPGs to be fantasy rather than sci-fi. "Dragon Age" was far and away better than "Mass Effect" to me, and I must preferred "Morrowind" to "Fallout 2."
But for some strange reason, "Fallout 3" really struck a chord with me. The plot was "okay," and the difficulty curve was definitely on the shallow end (as someone pointed out, I was wallpapering my house with money, health and ammo), but there's something about the ginormous, "eh, do what you want..." feeling to a game that I really like.
"Oblivion" annoyed the pants off of me because of the damn Oblivion gates. The gates were little more than plot-driven cliff racers, though there wasn't a patch to get rid of them. And, as a devout Morag Tong supported, it galled me to join the Dark Brotherhood. But I digress.
"Fallout 3" sucked away more hours of my life than I care to admit to and I genuinely enjoyed every aspect. It was one of the few games that I did not want to beat because I didn't want it to be over. But eventually all things must end and after a few DLCs, I beat the game and retired it to the game-case.
"New Vegas" looks like the equivalent of "Bloodmoon," the expansion pack that, as anyone who knows me knows, I revere above all other x-packs. As I griped here (seemingly) an age ago, "Dragon Age: Awakening" was one of my biggest disappointments in x-packs. It had substance, but no purpose. "New Vegas" (like "Bloodmoon") looks to have both.
Hopefully I'll see y'all at midnight. Now, it's back to drooling over Tyson Rios in "AoT: 4oth Day," because there's something wrong with my head. :)
Monday, April 26, 2010
F.E.A.R. 3 cover revealed for those who care
Recently the cover art for F.E.A.R. 3 was revealed to the public and just from the graphic it is apparent that the series will be sticking to their tired and true formula of just ripping off the first game.
"F.E.A.R." (First Encounter Assault Recon) was a game about a the evil government entrapping an all powerful psychic little girl and her subsequent quest for revenge or something to that effect. It was an FPS/survival-horror crossbreed that played heavily on the ever-popular Japanese horror styling. Sadly it coupled genuinely eerie environments and solid game play with a trite story and flat, two-dimensional characters, much like "Dead Space."
"F.E.A.R. 2" was basically the same game. Gamers and critics gave it pretty favorable reviews, but whether or not you like it depends entirely upon your like of the first game. For those of us who are "games are art" types, the same flimsy plot and characters did little to endear the game.
"F.E.A.R. 3's" cover is already ripping off the first two covers, so the potential for an entirely new, unique game seems unlikely. But time will tell.
"F.E.A.R." (First Encounter Assault Recon) was a game about a the evil government entrapping an all powerful psychic little girl and her subsequent quest for revenge or something to that effect. It was an FPS/survival-horror crossbreed that played heavily on the ever-popular Japanese horror styling. Sadly it coupled genuinely eerie environments and solid game play with a trite story and flat, two-dimensional characters, much like "Dead Space."
"F.E.A.R. 2" was basically the same game. Gamers and critics gave it pretty favorable reviews, but whether or not you like it depends entirely upon your like of the first game. For those of us who are "games are art" types, the same flimsy plot and characters did little to endear the game.
"F.E.A.R. 3's" cover is already ripping off the first two covers, so the potential for an entirely new, unique game seems unlikely. But time will tell.
Sunday, April 25, 2010
Risen's transition to Xbox 360 not so graceful.
"Risen" is, for all intents and purposes, a fun, enjoyable RPG. It's not going to win any awards for originality (think "Fable" meets "Morrowind") nor will you be particularly bowled over by the voice acting (half the world is voiced by a Ringo impersonator), but the graphics are pretty solid and the game mechanics are straight-forward and easy to grasp.
Which is why it's such a shame that it did not transition well from the PC to the Xbox 360. From all accounts the PC version was a solid "B" game, where as the 360 version seems to garish anywhere from an "F" to a "C" at best. The reason for the discrepancy is what feels like a thrown-together, hashed-out conversion to the 360.
On the opening screen the menu bars are partially cut off by the bottom of the screen. As are any captions like, say, your location. On one map transition the words were almost completely cut off, save the first letter which I guess was "T." The key bindings are, at times, counter intuitive and feel as though they were mapped by a person who has seen a 360 controller but never actually played a 360 game.
The worst transition is the engine, which feels sluggish at times. When in crowded areas everyone suddenly slows to a crawl. This isn't such a bad thing when in cities or camps, but in combat it makes some encounters nigh-unplayable.
Even with some hiccups and bugs the game is still a solid role-playing experience and worthy of any RPGer's time. But add it to your GameFly queue, or pick up a used copy; while the issues do not completely diminish your game play, they do make the $59.99 price tag look quite steep.
Which is why it's such a shame that it did not transition well from the PC to the Xbox 360. From all accounts the PC version was a solid "B" game, where as the 360 version seems to garish anywhere from an "F" to a "C" at best. The reason for the discrepancy is what feels like a thrown-together, hashed-out conversion to the 360.
On the opening screen the menu bars are partially cut off by the bottom of the screen. As are any captions like, say, your location. On one map transition the words were almost completely cut off, save the first letter which I guess was "T." The key bindings are, at times, counter intuitive and feel as though they were mapped by a person who has seen a 360 controller but never actually played a 360 game.
The worst transition is the engine, which feels sluggish at times. When in crowded areas everyone suddenly slows to a crawl. This isn't such a bad thing when in cities or camps, but in combat it makes some encounters nigh-unplayable.
Even with some hiccups and bugs the game is still a solid role-playing experience and worthy of any RPGer's time. But add it to your GameFly queue, or pick up a used copy; while the issues do not completely diminish your game play, they do make the $59.99 price tag look quite steep.
Thursday, April 8, 2010
Feelin' Guilty...
So I have to admit I'm feeling a little guilty as of late. I still have not touched "Awakening" since my initial few nights of playing it. I feel like it's that guy/girl you really wanted to go on a date with because they were totally hot and interesting, and then the date didn't go so great but you told them you'd call anyway, and you never have. "Awakening" is just sitting on top of my 360 looking at me... forlornly.
I just can't get into it. For one thing, I had *such* a thing for Sten. Loved him to pieces, wish he was a love interest. He's not in this expansion and that makes me sad. But more to the point, NO love interests are in the expansion and that makes the game feel a little empty. Lemme 'splain:
It's not just that I really have a secret desire to RP it up with NPCs. I mean, I do, but that's not what's at issue here. The romance (and indeed the like/dislike) system of DA:O was what added a nice flavor to the game. It gave it depth and a bit of mystery. From your conversations you learned things about people which led to quests or just made the NPCs feel a little more human. The romance was especially nice because then you really, really had something to work for and interact with your party members for more than just "Hey, how's it going?"
Which is what "Awakening" offers you. First off, the dialog options are stilted at best, and second, and most important, there is no real challenge to it. On my first (admittedly weakest) playthrough, I totally missed Oghren's side quest. Completely! I also missed Liliana's because I didn't care to talk to her (I have an alpha female thing goin' on). If you miss "Awakening"'s equivalent of a side quest, you must be drinkin' while playing. Four conversations with the mage and I hear that he misses his kitten. Guess what? There's a kitten playing outside. Ugh. Two with the whiney Howe kid and you figure out what he wants. And then ALL conversation with them is DONE. Done! Finished!
What's the point?! And as much as I love BioWare, so much of their games depends upon the interaction and human element. The stories are always decent, but nothing truly revolutionary or ground-breaking. And "Awakening's" story is ... well ... same shit different villain.
*sigh* I'll pick it up some day, I promise, I will. But in the meantime ... it's just waiting for me to call. And yes, I feel guilty about it.
I just can't get into it. For one thing, I had *such* a thing for Sten. Loved him to pieces, wish he was a love interest. He's not in this expansion and that makes me sad. But more to the point, NO love interests are in the expansion and that makes the game feel a little empty. Lemme 'splain:
It's not just that I really have a secret desire to RP it up with NPCs. I mean, I do, but that's not what's at issue here. The romance (and indeed the like/dislike) system of DA:O was what added a nice flavor to the game. It gave it depth and a bit of mystery. From your conversations you learned things about people which led to quests or just made the NPCs feel a little more human. The romance was especially nice because then you really, really had something to work for and interact with your party members for more than just "Hey, how's it going?"
Which is what "Awakening" offers you. First off, the dialog options are stilted at best, and second, and most important, there is no real challenge to it. On my first (admittedly weakest) playthrough, I totally missed Oghren's side quest. Completely! I also missed Liliana's because I didn't care to talk to her (I have an alpha female thing goin' on). If you miss "Awakening"'s equivalent of a side quest, you must be drinkin' while playing. Four conversations with the mage and I hear that he misses his kitten. Guess what? There's a kitten playing outside. Ugh. Two with the whiney Howe kid and you figure out what he wants. And then ALL conversation with them is DONE. Done! Finished!
What's the point?! And as much as I love BioWare, so much of their games depends upon the interaction and human element. The stories are always decent, but nothing truly revolutionary or ground-breaking. And "Awakening's" story is ... well ... same shit different villain.
*sigh* I'll pick it up some day, I promise, I will. But in the meantime ... it's just waiting for me to call. And yes, I feel guilty about it.
FanGirl's Guide to the Cliche
FanGirl’s Guide to the Cliché, You Idiot Developers...
When does a good idea become a cliché? When I’m freakin’ expecting it and not the least bit surprised by it. Seriously, I would have thought this was fairly obvious by now, but game developers keep throwin’ ‘em at us in the vain attempt to be edgy and dramatic. Here are a few of the clichés I’d like to see die in a FOCA:
The Betrayal: Dun-duh-duh! That person who has been helping you for half of the game, or your best friend of 20+ years? Yeah, they’ve been working for the bad guy or ARE the bad guy the whooooooole time. (Insert maniacal laughter here.) This has, on occasion, been done well. Bioshock being the most recent incident where the betrayal was handled so subtly and deftly, you had to sit back and think “that bastard!” A recent example of this not working? Well, gee, how about “ “Dead Space?” I can remember a point, about ½-way through “Dead Space” when DH and I looked at each other and said “She’s gonna screw us over.” And sure enough, she’s working for the bad guys. Wow, what a twist! It’s gotten so bad that now, when playing a game, I find myself instantly distrusting whomever happens to be helping me because I’m now conditioned to expect betrayal. This isn’t edgy, this is CLICHÉ!
The Twist: Technically the blame for this goes to M. Night (What a twist!), but the video game industry has been more than willing to beat this dead horse. Again, sometimes a twist can be good and I’d hate to ban or outlaw the twist entirely, but it’d be worth it to save the groan-inducing incidents of, say, “Infamous.” ***Spoiler Warning *** The bad guy is you from the future? Really?? Are you freaking kidding me? *** End *** Insert Lilli Von Shtupp saying “How ordinary.” Again I find myself playing games and waiting for the twist. What’s it going to be? Is he really dead? Is she really dead? Is this all a dream? Is Soylent Green people?? A twist is not a twist if I saw it coming a mile away. (I'm not even going to discuss the horror that was "Metal Gear Solid" and the 50-billion twists within that garbage)
The “Bad Guy” hero: Okay, first off, as an English major, I feel the need to point out that a bad-guy as the hero does not make him an anti-hero. It makes him some douchebag I gotta follow around. 50 Cent (“50 Cent: Blood in the Sand”) definitely falls under this category, as does Kratos. Okay, we get it, the big, tough, tattooed killing machine has a heart. Or a soft-spot. Or has been wronged in some way that should make me feel sorry for him. Move on and find someone else, please, for the love of the Throne.
The Non-timed Dire Situation: Inevitably, usually in the beginning of a game, I am going to be in a spot where I have to get out of the building/room/ship, or get away from some evil monster chasing me. Let's use the initial scene in "Mass Effect 2" for example: someone is taking over the ship and trying to kill me. I need to get to the hangar to find an escape ship ASAP. However there is no time limit, so I can explore every square inch of the building, go back and do a dance, sit on my ass to go to the bathroom ... I have all the time in the world. The danger won't be triggered until I get to the hangar bay itself, at which point, the danger is already over. I realize that exploring is a huge part of the game, but why not add a challenge to it? Trust me: I have RPG vision from years of playing Resident Evil. I can both run AND look for shiny objects. I can even click on those shiny objects while running for my life. Funny how that works. But I'm willing to lose those three ammo clips for the sake of feeling like my life is really in danger. Knowing that I have all the time in the world to escape rips me out of the mood of the game quicker than, well, the betrayal cliche listed above.
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
I am Jack's Complete Lack of Surprise.
Well, FFXIII finally got here from GameFly and wow am I totally not surprised at how much I dislike it. This game could give Hideo Kojima a run for his money on the cut scenes of DOOM. The cut scene to game play ratio is so out of whack it was more like watching a movie, but every 30 or 40 minutes it kicks you back to the main menu so you gotta smash some buttons to get back to the movie.
And my predictions for the game were pretty spot-on. Once again we are in medias res (starting after the story began) and we have to wait for any semblance of back story. Of course seeing as we're playing an FF game, we can pretty much assume there is an evil overlord/corporation ruining Happy McHappysville, and our main character is trying to stop them. Oh, did I mention the main character's name is Lightening? *head desk*
Lightening is joined by Hope, Snow & Vanille. Oh my god I wish I was kidding. Snow is, of course, our main male love interest and can summon a motorcycle. Vanille is -- you guessed it -- the quirky, hyper, kawaii girl who spouts off random bits of cutesy dialog that, at times, make zero sense with what is going on around her.
Which brings me back to my point about the Final Fantasy Archetypes: they are being worn to death. Carl Jung said that once an archetype is named as an archetype, it ceases to be an archetype and devolves into a cliche (that's not the exact word he uses but I'm not going to dig out my Jung book right now, thank you very much). Ever since FFVII, the standard FF characters are becoming more and more obvious. FFX was, I think, the pinnacle of "I see what you did there," with Tidus being so similar to Cloud, I was humming the Patty Duke theme song in my head.
I thought I understood why SquareEnix does this: because it creates a sense of familiarity. We instantly like certain characters and dislike others because we recognize them as who they are like. "Oh that guy? He's cool, he's like Sephiroth." But now the standards are wearing themselves so thin, they're not like a character, they are that character, only somehow more annoying. Vanille is Rikku on meth. And Rikku wasn't even Rikku, but a character who was like Yuffie, only somehow more annoying. See the pattern here? I imagine if you truly hated yourself, you could devote 48 hours to playing every FF game from FFVII - FFXIII and watch the slow, hateful devolution of the character types. I thought it was courtesy to the players, but now I understand it's just plain laziness. FF is milking their own brand faster and harder than Lucas with Star Wars.
And once a-fucking-gain with the ridiculous clothing. I like to think the designers of the game are failed fashion students who spend too much time at Harajuku Koen, and target their angst towards the players by finding the most garish color combination and draw lines of fabric that defy so many laws of physics, I'm worried they're going to disrupt the space-time-continuum, and call it a day.
I got about 7 hours into the game before I realized I don't hate myself this much. I story and dialog are mundane, the characters are trite, recycled garbage, and the game play is a joke. When the game does decide to let me play, the combat is ridiculously juvenile and simplistic, and somehow feels completely at odds with the most complex, convoluted upgrade system I've ever seen in my life.
No. Just no.
And my predictions for the game were pretty spot-on. Once again we are in medias res (starting after the story began) and we have to wait for any semblance of back story. Of course seeing as we're playing an FF game, we can pretty much assume there is an evil overlord/corporation ruining Happy McHappysville, and our main character is trying to stop them. Oh, did I mention the main character's name is Lightening? *head desk*
Lightening is joined by Hope, Snow & Vanille. Oh my god I wish I was kidding. Snow is, of course, our main male love interest and can summon a motorcycle. Vanille is -- you guessed it -- the quirky, hyper, kawaii girl who spouts off random bits of cutesy dialog that, at times, make zero sense with what is going on around her.
Which brings me back to my point about the Final Fantasy Archetypes: they are being worn to death. Carl Jung said that once an archetype is named as an archetype, it ceases to be an archetype and devolves into a cliche (that's not the exact word he uses but I'm not going to dig out my Jung book right now, thank you very much). Ever since FFVII, the standard FF characters are becoming more and more obvious. FFX was, I think, the pinnacle of "I see what you did there," with Tidus being so similar to Cloud, I was humming the Patty Duke theme song in my head.
I thought I understood why SquareEnix does this: because it creates a sense of familiarity. We instantly like certain characters and dislike others because we recognize them as who they are like. "Oh that guy? He's cool, he's like Sephiroth." But now the standards are wearing themselves so thin, they're not like a character, they are that character, only somehow more annoying. Vanille is Rikku on meth. And Rikku wasn't even Rikku, but a character who was like Yuffie, only somehow more annoying. See the pattern here? I imagine if you truly hated yourself, you could devote 48 hours to playing every FF game from FFVII - FFXIII and watch the slow, hateful devolution of the character types. I thought it was courtesy to the players, but now I understand it's just plain laziness. FF is milking their own brand faster and harder than Lucas with Star Wars.
And once a-fucking-gain with the ridiculous clothing. I like to think the designers of the game are failed fashion students who spend too much time at Harajuku Koen, and target their angst towards the players by finding the most garish color combination and draw lines of fabric that defy so many laws of physics, I'm worried they're going to disrupt the space-time-continuum, and call it a day.
I got about 7 hours into the game before I realized I don't hate myself this much. I story and dialog are mundane, the characters are trite, recycled garbage, and the game play is a joke. When the game does decide to let me play, the combat is ridiculously juvenile and simplistic, and somehow feels completely at odds with the most complex, convoluted upgrade system I've ever seen in my life.
No. Just no.
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Being a Dick Does Not An Anti-Hero Make
Playing "God of War III" reminds me that really, Kratos is a dick. Zeus pretty much sums it up by calling him a petulant child. For those unfamiliar, here is the Cliff Notes version of the story of Kratos:
God of War -- Kratos, nearly defeated in battle, calls upon Ares to help him win. Ares turns him into, essentially, a juggernaut whose sole purpose in life is war (blood for the blood god! Oh wait, wrong series...). Kratos goes home, murders his family and then, realizing what horrible thing he has done, he swears revenge on Ares. Okay, fair enough.
God of War II -- Having killed Ares in GoW, Kratos is now the new god of war (wow! No one saw THAT coming!!) and is fairly bored with his position. He acts like a jerk to all the other gods and seems to seek out war for war's sake. Annoyed, Zeus tricks Kratos into giving up his powers and kills Kratos. Not one to let death get him down, Kratos proceeds to swear revenge (apparently there's money to be made in the revenge business) on Zeus, and with the help of his new found friends the Titans, he rages war on Olympus. Oh yeah, he kills Athena along the way. Oooookay...
So that brings us up to GoWIII where Kratos has spent the first hour of the game swearing revenge (*yawn*) and throwing his toys around the room. Athena shows up briefly to, apparently, give credence to what Kratos is trying to do, but at this point, there is very little to like about Kratos.
The gameplay is fun, as always, and even though every game since GoW has instilled the dreaded quick time event (i.e. "press X to not die"), the original is still the best and GoWIII manages to make the quick time events fun and rather exciting. The action is great, attacks are fun and all the other shiny things a game is supposed to have.
But it's hard to get really sucked into the game when the voice actor went to the Christian Bale school of constipated grunt acting and over-emphasizes every word out of his mouth. Oh, and the fact that he's a giant dick who can't seem to get over all the wrongs visited upon him by ... oh wait, isn't this all his fault?? Again, just because you're a dick doesn't mean you're an anti-hero -- it's means you're a poster child for frat boys with too much testosterone.
Borderlands was a game that was thin on story, but great on gameplay and that worked because you were probably playing with a buddy and it was funny as hell. I don't care what the haters say, the clap-traps were funny. GoWIII is thin on story, but even great gameplay isn't saving it for me. Even some of the most beautiful backgrounds, amazing camera work and spiffy quicktime events can't hide the crappy voice acting and "Uh... so yeah, then this happens..." storyline. I've heard more interesting stories from three-year olds.
I'm an hour in and I can already tell what's going to happen: Kratos will kill all the gods. I just hope they manage to slap a little more meat on these bones.
God of War -- Kratos, nearly defeated in battle, calls upon Ares to help him win. Ares turns him into, essentially, a juggernaut whose sole purpose in life is war (blood for the blood god! Oh wait, wrong series...). Kratos goes home, murders his family and then, realizing what horrible thing he has done, he swears revenge on Ares. Okay, fair enough.
God of War II -- Having killed Ares in GoW, Kratos is now the new god of war (wow! No one saw THAT coming!!) and is fairly bored with his position. He acts like a jerk to all the other gods and seems to seek out war for war's sake. Annoyed, Zeus tricks Kratos into giving up his powers and kills Kratos. Not one to let death get him down, Kratos proceeds to swear revenge (apparently there's money to be made in the revenge business) on Zeus, and with the help of his new found friends the Titans, he rages war on Olympus. Oh yeah, he kills Athena along the way. Oooookay...
So that brings us up to GoWIII where Kratos has spent the first hour of the game swearing revenge (*yawn*) and throwing his toys around the room. Athena shows up briefly to, apparently, give credence to what Kratos is trying to do, but at this point, there is very little to like about Kratos.
The gameplay is fun, as always, and even though every game since GoW has instilled the dreaded quick time event (i.e. "press X to not die"), the original is still the best and GoWIII manages to make the quick time events fun and rather exciting. The action is great, attacks are fun and all the other shiny things a game is supposed to have.
But it's hard to get really sucked into the game when the voice actor went to the Christian Bale school of constipated grunt acting and over-emphasizes every word out of his mouth. Oh, and the fact that he's a giant dick who can't seem to get over all the wrongs visited upon him by ... oh wait, isn't this all his fault?? Again, just because you're a dick doesn't mean you're an anti-hero -- it's means you're a poster child for frat boys with too much testosterone.
Borderlands was a game that was thin on story, but great on gameplay and that worked because you were probably playing with a buddy and it was funny as hell. I don't care what the haters say, the clap-traps were funny. GoWIII is thin on story, but even great gameplay isn't saving it for me. Even some of the most beautiful backgrounds, amazing camera work and spiffy quicktime events can't hide the crappy voice acting and "Uh... so yeah, then this happens..." storyline. I've heard more interesting stories from three-year olds.
I'm an hour in and I can already tell what's going to happen: Kratos will kill all the gods. I just hope they manage to slap a little more meat on these bones.
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
A Spectacular Romp in Merely Adequate Land
So after waiting months for Dragon Age: Origins "Awakening" expansion pack, I have to say in a nutshell that it's good but bland. For those who remember their SATs, Awakening is to Dragon Age as Tribunal was to Morrowind. That is to say, it's a good, solid expansion pack, but at the end of the day it doesn't feel like anything riveting, groundbreaking and new. It's not "Bloodmoon."
The game opens with you, the High-Commander of the Grey Wardens, returning to Vigil's Keep which was once Arl Howe's land, and was given to the Grey after the end of DA:O. In a nice turn you can opt to either start a new character from Orlais, or import your old character from DA:O, assuming you didn't die in the end. This, I have to say, makes me happy because I'm rather attached to my Dalish Rogue, Arshes.
Of course as soon as you arrive you discover the Keep has been overrun with darkspawn, and nearly all of the Grey Wardens are dead. Gosh, I hope my character hadn't been pouring her sweat and blood into rebuilding the order while she was waiting for the expansion pack. What a let-down that would have been! Once again you're surrounded by darkspawn, petty politics and annoying companions.
And this is where the banality of the game starts in. Oghren makes a return appearance, joining the Grey Wardens, which begs the question: why didn't you just turn him into a Grey Warden in the first damn game if it was possible? Oh, I guess he'd be dead with the others ... Anyway, he's back as the token drunk, crude-humor aspect. While Oghren is definitely funny to listen to, and provides some good campside humor, I have a huge problem with him: I can never seem to guess what is going to get approval/disapproval with him. I know a lot of people had that complain with Sten from last game, but I always found Sten to be ridiculously easy to get along with and truthfully he was my favorite character. It was Oghren that did and continues to baffle me. Taking the nice route gains disapproval, as does the negative route. Talking to him makes me pine for the idiot-friendly system of Mass Effect 1 & 2 that clearly points out the Paragon, Renegade options. Grrrr...
You pick up an apostate mage named Anders who is already on my sh*t list for a variety of reasons. For one: I swear to God he is voiced by the same guy who did Alistair. That, in and of itself, is annoying and creepy. But the character is an amalgam of Alistair and Morrigan: he has the cocky, wise-cracking attitude of Alistair and the "I hate the chantry and Circle of Magi," "oh my God those evil templars are at it again," attitude of Morrigan. It's like they were trying to kill 2 birds with one stone and failed miserably.
Next is Arl Howe's whiney, emo son Nathaniel. He is, quite literally, the male counterpart to Leiliana. A decent rouge who's constantly promising the darkspawn and undead creatures that he wants to be merciful to them and hates the fight. Wth?! He is coming to grips with his father's evil, treacherous ways and his new role as a Grey Warden. *yawn* I foresee him spending a great deal of time at camp.
*** Mild Spoiler *** The only mildly interesting character thus far as been the personification of Justice, who is trapped in a dead Grey Warden's body. Don't ask, it's a long story. However the reason I like him is that he is basically Sten reborn; in fact I have taking to calling him Sten #2. He's stoic, confused by our world/customs/feelings, and doesn't like to waste time talking. He is also oblivious to Oghren's constant jokes. Excuse me while I bang my head against my desk.
There are no romance options in this game, either. Bioware said they wanted players to concentrate on the story rather than the interactions. Okay, if I wanted to concentrate on story and not interactions, I wouldn't be playing a Bioware game. That's the whole reason we shell out money for their product! The chance to RP it up and romance NPCs! What's the purpose of me gaining approval, giving gifts, and talking to these people if there's no chance for romance!
Oh yeah, while we're on that topic, the gifts are suddenly very obvious as to whom they belong to. In the last game you had to kind of guess, and talk and play around. Now they might as well be labeled "for so-and-so."
AND ANOTHER THING!!! It was nice to see Oghren in his Armor of the Legion from last game, but goddammit if I knew I was going to lose my inventory, I would have gone ahead and put the Warden Commander's armor ON my rogue, rather than having it sit in my pack. *grumble*
I'm about half-way through at this point, so I'll keep griping, er, updating on it. :)
The game opens with you, the High-Commander of the Grey Wardens, returning to Vigil's Keep which was once Arl Howe's land, and was given to the Grey after the end of DA:O. In a nice turn you can opt to either start a new character from Orlais, or import your old character from DA:O, assuming you didn't die in the end. This, I have to say, makes me happy because I'm rather attached to my Dalish Rogue, Arshes.
Of course as soon as you arrive you discover the Keep has been overrun with darkspawn, and nearly all of the Grey Wardens are dead. Gosh, I hope my character hadn't been pouring her sweat and blood into rebuilding the order while she was waiting for the expansion pack. What a let-down that would have been! Once again you're surrounded by darkspawn, petty politics and annoying companions.
And this is where the banality of the game starts in. Oghren makes a return appearance, joining the Grey Wardens, which begs the question: why didn't you just turn him into a Grey Warden in the first damn game if it was possible? Oh, I guess he'd be dead with the others ... Anyway, he's back as the token drunk, crude-humor aspect. While Oghren is definitely funny to listen to, and provides some good campside humor, I have a huge problem with him: I can never seem to guess what is going to get approval/disapproval with him. I know a lot of people had that complain with Sten from last game, but I always found Sten to be ridiculously easy to get along with and truthfully he was my favorite character. It was Oghren that did and continues to baffle me. Taking the nice route gains disapproval, as does the negative route. Talking to him makes me pine for the idiot-friendly system of Mass Effect 1 & 2 that clearly points out the Paragon, Renegade options. Grrrr...
You pick up an apostate mage named Anders who is already on my sh*t list for a variety of reasons. For one: I swear to God he is voiced by the same guy who did Alistair. That, in and of itself, is annoying and creepy. But the character is an amalgam of Alistair and Morrigan: he has the cocky, wise-cracking attitude of Alistair and the "I hate the chantry and Circle of Magi," "oh my God those evil templars are at it again," attitude of Morrigan. It's like they were trying to kill 2 birds with one stone and failed miserably.
Next is Arl Howe's whiney, emo son Nathaniel. He is, quite literally, the male counterpart to Leiliana. A decent rouge who's constantly promising the darkspawn and undead creatures that he wants to be merciful to them and hates the fight. Wth?! He is coming to grips with his father's evil, treacherous ways and his new role as a Grey Warden. *yawn* I foresee him spending a great deal of time at camp.
*** Mild Spoiler *** The only mildly interesting character thus far as been the personification of Justice, who is trapped in a dead Grey Warden's body. Don't ask, it's a long story. However the reason I like him is that he is basically Sten reborn; in fact I have taking to calling him Sten #2. He's stoic, confused by our world/customs/feelings, and doesn't like to waste time talking. He is also oblivious to Oghren's constant jokes. Excuse me while I bang my head against my desk.
There are no romance options in this game, either. Bioware said they wanted players to concentrate on the story rather than the interactions. Okay, if I wanted to concentrate on story and not interactions, I wouldn't be playing a Bioware game. That's the whole reason we shell out money for their product! The chance to RP it up and romance NPCs! What's the purpose of me gaining approval, giving gifts, and talking to these people if there's no chance for romance!
Oh yeah, while we're on that topic, the gifts are suddenly very obvious as to whom they belong to. In the last game you had to kind of guess, and talk and play around. Now they might as well be labeled "for so-and-so."
AND ANOTHER THING!!! It was nice to see Oghren in his Armor of the Legion from last game, but goddammit if I knew I was going to lose my inventory, I would have gone ahead and put the Warden Commander's armor ON my rogue, rather than having it sit in my pack. *grumble*
I'm about half-way through at this point, so I'll keep griping, er, updating on it. :)
Sunday, March 14, 2010
To Final Fantasy or Not to Final Fantasy, that is the question...
So I'm always torn on Final Fantasy games. For the most part I think people fall into two categories: those who think Final Fantasy games are the ultimate expression of video game awesomness and the type of thing Jesus Christ would play if he played games, and those who think Final Fantasy is teh awful lameness.
For the most part I tend to agree with the latter group. I enjoyed FFVII in high school, but what self-respecting nerd didn't? I liked FF X "okay," though I feel I need to point out that my favorite part of FFX was the damn blitz ball mini-game. That's not exactly a glowing review for a game. I liked Final Fantasy X-2 because if you ignored the horrible plot, and the fact that it was, essentially, a crappy attempt on SquareEnix's part to appease its fans who were distraught over Titus and Yuna NOT getting together in FFX, the collection aspect of the game was rather fun. I'm typically anti-kawaii when it comes to my games, and I'm certainly not a girly-girl, but I did really enjoy collecting new costumes and playing with them. Though once I did get them all (like Pokemon...) I figured out very quickly that the dark knight and samurai = win, and pretty much never changed them. Ah well.
But that's it. The other games have done absolutely nothing for me and here's why: they're the same fucking game.
The same characters are in every game. Don't waste my time trying to say they're not. The androgynous hero who is a tortured soul and more often than not has some glaring familial issue (almost always daddy); the love interest who is either too proud or too callow to admit their feelings until the very end of the game when the whole point is moot anyway; the plucky female character who takes on a strange pseudo-sexual little sister role; the cocky male buddy/bromance; the dark, mysterious person who, it will always be revealed, has some sort of connection with the evil entity in the game; the serious, dark, morose, emo voice of reason (this character can be male or female depending); and "the other," who is generally a different race altogether. It's as if they take the characters, dip them in bleach, paint new faces and hit play. Oh joy.
The same world/scenery/scenario is in every game. Oh sure it has a different name, different ethnicities (except those damn chocobos and cactaurs. They are apparently universal) and different fun diversions, but no matter how many cutesy mini-games, or words or vehicles they put into a game, it's the same story every time: Happy, harmonious people are suddenly disrupted by an evil being/corporation and it's up to our heroes to save the world. Really?
I've not played FFXIII, but looking at it, I can tell it's going to be the same thing. But, like a glutton for punishment, I'm going to rent the damn thing and spend my evenings cursing the banality and triteness of the game, and wishing a pox upon the first born children of SquareEnix.
So I guess the real question is who's the bigger fool: SquareEnix, or me? Don't answer that.
For the most part I tend to agree with the latter group. I enjoyed FFVII in high school, but what self-respecting nerd didn't? I liked FF X "okay," though I feel I need to point out that my favorite part of FFX was the damn blitz ball mini-game. That's not exactly a glowing review for a game. I liked Final Fantasy X-2 because if you ignored the horrible plot, and the fact that it was, essentially, a crappy attempt on SquareEnix's part to appease its fans who were distraught over Titus and Yuna NOT getting together in FFX, the collection aspect of the game was rather fun. I'm typically anti-kawaii when it comes to my games, and I'm certainly not a girly-girl, but I did really enjoy collecting new costumes and playing with them. Though once I did get them all (like Pokemon...) I figured out very quickly that the dark knight and samurai = win, and pretty much never changed them. Ah well.
But that's it. The other games have done absolutely nothing for me and here's why: they're the same fucking game.
The same characters are in every game. Don't waste my time trying to say they're not. The androgynous hero who is a tortured soul and more often than not has some glaring familial issue (almost always daddy); the love interest who is either too proud or too callow to admit their feelings until the very end of the game when the whole point is moot anyway; the plucky female character who takes on a strange pseudo-sexual little sister role; the cocky male buddy/bromance; the dark, mysterious person who, it will always be revealed, has some sort of connection with the evil entity in the game; the serious, dark, morose, emo voice of reason (this character can be male or female depending); and "the other," who is generally a different race altogether. It's as if they take the characters, dip them in bleach, paint new faces and hit play. Oh joy.
The same world/scenery/scenario is in every game. Oh sure it has a different name, different ethnicities (except those damn chocobos and cactaurs. They are apparently universal) and different fun diversions, but no matter how many cutesy mini-games, or words or vehicles they put into a game, it's the same story every time: Happy, harmonious people are suddenly disrupted by an evil being/corporation and it's up to our heroes to save the world. Really?
I've not played FFXIII, but looking at it, I can tell it's going to be the same thing. But, like a glutton for punishment, I'm going to rent the damn thing and spend my evenings cursing the banality and triteness of the game, and wishing a pox upon the first born children of SquareEnix.
So I guess the real question is who's the bigger fool: SquareEnix, or me? Don't answer that.
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Paragon vs. Renegade
After pondering the possibility of Mother Theresa eating babies, it got me thinking about my least favorite aspect of Mass Effect 2: the paragon and renegade options. For those unfamiliar, in any given conversation you are at some point presented with three options of dialog, the paragon, the neutral and the renegade. Using paragon responses gain you (wait for it...) paragon points. The higher your paragon score, the more agreeable people find you and therefore the more willing they are to take your word. On the adverse, using renegade options increases your renegade score which makes you more intimidating and therefore people are more willing to back down and accept your word for it. Neutral responses do exactly dick for you, so even having a neutral response option seems silly. So here are the two big problems with this system:
1) First, and foremost, once you choose a path, you'd better stick with it. If you try to spice up your life and bounce between paragon and renegade scores, you'll end up in that master-of-none zone where both scores are low until you do a billion side quests in which case you'll still only be 1/2 & 1/2. The problem with this is that you need a certain score to open certain responses. In some conversations I found myself with the paragon response open, but the renegade response closed to me. Or in the play-through where I experimented with going 1/2 & 1/2, I found myself in a sticky situation. *** Spoiler warning *** After completing Miranda's and Jack's loyalty missions, you return to the ship to find the two ladies fighting. You walk in to break it up. If you have a high enough paragon skill you remind them of the bigger battle, if you have a high enough renegade you tell them to shut up and deal. Both ladies part ways, angry, but still loyal to you. However if neither score is high enough, your option is to tell Miranda to back down, or tell Jack to back down. Whichever lady you side with will remain loyal, and you lose the loyalty of the other. *** Spoiler end *** So this kinda breaks the illusion of freedom of choice in dialog which is occasionally a problem as illustrated in point two.
2) The conversation options generally suck. As an RPGer I tend to approach dialog choices from the "What would I say in this situation?" standpoint. Mass Effect 2 I find myself thinking "Okay, well I need to paragon/renegade points so I guess I'm goin' with this!" That's not much of a choice, is it? And in some instances the options are so grossly black and white it's laughable. I can't tell you how many choices I made and cringed while they were spoken. I much preferred the like/dislike system of Dragon Age where there was the warm fuzzy option, two neutral-ish options and the asshole option. You could, on occasion, use the neutral option and still gain approval of a certain character. That is, the neutral options served a purpose. I have yet to find a situation in Mass Effect 2 where the neutral option was of any use to me. Again, you're either polishing your halo or wiping blood off your pitchfork.
I'm not sure if my point is that the dialog writing for Mass Effect 2 was weak, or if the whole good/bad system is too simplistic for my tastes. Or maybe it's a whole lotta both.
1) First, and foremost, once you choose a path, you'd better stick with it. If you try to spice up your life and bounce between paragon and renegade scores, you'll end up in that master-of-none zone where both scores are low until you do a billion side quests in which case you'll still only be 1/2 & 1/2. The problem with this is that you need a certain score to open certain responses. In some conversations I found myself with the paragon response open, but the renegade response closed to me. Or in the play-through where I experimented with going 1/2 & 1/2, I found myself in a sticky situation. *** Spoiler warning *** After completing Miranda's and Jack's loyalty missions, you return to the ship to find the two ladies fighting. You walk in to break it up. If you have a high enough paragon skill you remind them of the bigger battle, if you have a high enough renegade you tell them to shut up and deal. Both ladies part ways, angry, but still loyal to you. However if neither score is high enough, your option is to tell Miranda to back down, or tell Jack to back down. Whichever lady you side with will remain loyal, and you lose the loyalty of the other. *** Spoiler end *** So this kinda breaks the illusion of freedom of choice in dialog which is occasionally a problem as illustrated in point two.
2) The conversation options generally suck. As an RPGer I tend to approach dialog choices from the "What would I say in this situation?" standpoint. Mass Effect 2 I find myself thinking "Okay, well I need to paragon/renegade points so I guess I'm goin' with this!" That's not much of a choice, is it? And in some instances the options are so grossly black and white it's laughable. I can't tell you how many choices I made and cringed while they were spoken. I much preferred the like/dislike system of Dragon Age where there was the warm fuzzy option, two neutral-ish options and the asshole option. You could, on occasion, use the neutral option and still gain approval of a certain character. That is, the neutral options served a purpose. I have yet to find a situation in Mass Effect 2 where the neutral option was of any use to me. Again, you're either polishing your halo or wiping blood off your pitchfork.
I'm not sure if my point is that the dialog writing for Mass Effect 2 was weak, or if the whole good/bad system is too simplistic for my tastes. Or maybe it's a whole lotta both.
Sunday, February 21, 2010
Mother Theresa eating babies...
At the risk of sounding a little too much like Yahtzee's review of the first Bioshock, I have to express disappointment in the ending of Bioshock 2. Once again the endings boil down into two camps: good good good and evil evil evil; as Yahtzee said, you're either Mother Theresa or Hitler eating babies. Occasionally it would be nice to have a grey area.
And the Mother Theresa ending has me at odds. On one hand the hippie-flower-child ending of the first game seemed a little out of place with the game itself, but it had a nice sense of satisfaction. Truly, having shot, flamed & shocked my way through Rapture, it seemed a little strange; touch of the deus ex machina, if you will. However there's a lot to be said for that hunky dory feeling it instilled in the player.
BioShock 2's good ending gave me a brief sense of satisfaction but it seemed like it was trying too hard. Completely opposite of Bioshock, the ending seemed very much in tune with the rest of the game. Without giving too much away, it's one of the few endings where my character dies and it makes sense. It doesn't feel cheap. However the openness of the ending leaves much to be desired, and a whole host of unanswered questions. Meh.
Bioshock 2's evil ending is almost the exact same as Bioshock's evil ending. **(Not) Spoiler Warning ** You become a giant evil madman who takes over the world in a reign of bloodshed. **End ** Siiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh.
Of course I will take a quick moment to defend the crappiness of the evil ending: it's obvious the game does not want you to get the evil ending. The evil ending is obtained by killing Little Sisters, an act that never sits well with me for obvious reasons. The reward for doing evil should be a crappy ending.
On the adverse, doing good should reward you with something with a little more meat.
Bioshock 2's evil ending is almost the exact same as Bioshock's evil ending. **(Not) Spoiler Warning ** You become a giant evil madman who takes over the world in a reign of bloodshed. **End ** Siiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh.
Of course I will take a quick moment to defend the crappiness of the evil ending: it's obvious the game does not want you to get the evil ending. The evil ending is obtained by killing Little Sisters, an act that never sits well with me for obvious reasons. The reward for doing evil should be a crappy ending.
On the adverse, doing good should reward you with something with a little more meat.
Hi ho hi ho, it's off to scan we go...
So while I still try to formulate my opinion of the Bioshock 2 ending (summary: eh?), I'd like to rant about the scan/probe system of Mass Effect 2, as I begin my second play through.
Harvesting resources has long been a staple of RPGs. That I have to gather resources is of little surprise and I'm okay with it. What I'm not okay with is when farming becomes a chore. Nothing is worse than feeling like you have to do something in a game; feeling like part of it is work. I'm playing a game! I shouldn't feel like ripping my hair out over something as static and necessary as farming.
Oblivion had one of my favorite harvesting systems because at its heart it was simple: run around and pick flowers. It was the video game equivalent of busy work, but that is why it worked. Sure I have to get flowers to get my potions skill up, but I'm also exploring the world and meeting strange new people and creatures which I then kill for exp. It killed three birds with one stone.
Mass Effect 2's system is annoying on a few levels. The system is very simple: come across a planet, scan and launch probes. However the scanning system takes for-bloody-ever to do correctly. Since I'm fairly OCD when it comes to stuff like this, I'm not satisfied until the "Rich" planet becomes "Depleted." (Somewhere the Avatar cat people are crying) So this means sloooooooooowly moving your scanner back and forth, back and forth, back and forth, around the entire rotation of the planet in hopes of finding elements. Then launching probes and collecting them.
I'm going to digress here for one second. Launching a probe to collect a mineral? Yet there are mining colonies across the entire galaxy because they've been mentioned and I've visited a couple. If ships can launch probes from space to gather the entirety of the planet's resources, I have two questions: 1) why the %$#@ would there still be mining colonies, and 2) why the %$#@ hasn't every ship this side of Illium ravaged every world in the sector WITH THEIR PROBES? Apparently Shepherd is the only cool cat with this technology. Right.
Anyway, this is expected to be done on every planet in the game so that you can both acquire enough resources to upgrade your ship, and in the vain hopes of discovering an "anomaly." Which is generally a wrecked ship or the case of the most boring mission ever, a planet where a shield of some type is down and you gotta repair it for them. Huh? But I've digressed again. The point is that this is quite possibly my least favorite mining system in the history of gaming. Nothing puts me to sleep quicker than scanning and probing.
I would, in all honesty, prefer to drop onto a planet and run around with a goddamn pick, or even the stupid probes that magically place the minerals in my ship, than scan. At least running around gives the player a sense of DOING something. And wasn't that what was great about Mass Effect? Dropping down and exploring planets? Sure sometimes you explored a 5'-square patch of grass, but you were exploring! And doing something! Hell, maybe you'll even find some interesting people to kill. This is what makes RPGs fun.
Friday, February 19, 2010
Random Musing on Movie Quotes
Everyone I know quotes movies in some manner or another. Be it the incessant "one time, at band camp," or the cringe-inducing faux-Borat "very nice," everyone quotes for some reason or another. As the husband and I fired up Borderlands for shits and giggles, it occurred to me that we never quote movies in the same way most people do. That is, we never use movie quotes for comedic value. We use quotes as our personal language. A language that totally makes sense to us, but to an outsider it would sound downright strange. And we never use the popular quotes (e.g. the band camp line, anything from Borat, etc.), we always use the obscure ones that you might not pick up on at first. In a way, we have our own cockney-esque system going, and oddly enough it's a very important part of us playing together. Here's a brief primer, should you ever find yourself trapped in a game with us:
Quote: "Psychos? Do they look like psychos, Ray?"
Movie: From Dusk 'Til Dawn
Situation: Any time you happen into a room or area and a horde of angry mobs attacks you. It helps for them to be human, and gains extra points if they're zombies.
Quote: "I didn't want to. I felt I owed it to them."
Movie: Caddyshack
Situation: Any brutal kill; headshot, death from above, flame thrower, etc.
Quote: "Twenty-metre spread. No sound."
Movie: Predator
Situation: One of us needs to go right, the other needs to go left to fully cover the area.
Quote: "It shoots through schools."
Movie: Johnny Dangerously
Situation: Finding any awesome new weapon. Doesn't matter if it's melee or aimed, it's gonna shoot through schools.
Quote: "I'm chasing this guy. No, he's chasing me."
Movie: Memento
Situation: You don't have the upperhand you quite thought you had and need help.
Quote: "They're coming out of the goddamn walls!" or "How could they cut the power?"
Movie: Aliens
Situation: Any time you have lost the upperhand and are quickly being surrounded by mobs.
Quote: "If Matrix were here, he'd laugh, too."
Movie: Commando
Situation: That ginormous boss that looked really tough? He wasn't so tough.
Quote: "Don't do that, that'll just make him angry."
Movie: Blazing Saddles
Situation: The boss is HUGE!
Quote: "Follow me, Tinkerbell."
Movie: Vampire Hunter D: Bloodlust
Situation: Annoying-ass flying mobs.
Quote: "I like money."
Movie: Idiocracy
Situation: When your partner tries to NOT pick up money that falls from a chest. Sure you're at the point in the game where you could wallpaper your house with money but c'mon. You can never have enough.
Quote: "It could be filled with chocolate, okay?"
Movie: Muppets From Space
Situation: Your partner doesn't want to bother opening a chest/box/safe or exploring a seemingly dead end room.
There are a dozen or so more, I'll add as they come back to me. I'm drawing a blank right now, but you get the idea. :)
Sunday, February 14, 2010
Would you kindly...
Tell me I'm over-analyzing the game, 2K. Please, please, please. Thus far I really enjoy Bioshock 2 and want to continue to enjoy it. Let me back up by explaining my feelings on this matter. I'd warn you that Bioshock spoilers are contained below, but the game is over 2 years old at this point so I don't feel guilty.
Video games are always trying throw twists and turns into their plots ala Hollywood. Sometimes they fall woefully short of the mark (see: Infamous for the video game equivalent of a Dallas-twist), and sometimes they are sublime. Bioshock had what was, easily, one of my most favorite plot twists ever. Having spent the entirety of our exploration of Rapture listening to a eerily polite, proper gentleman named Atlas asking us "would you kindly," the entire experience is turned up on end when it is revealed that "would you kindly" is really a post-hypnotic suggestion programmed for our obedience. Ah! Much like with The Sixth Sense or Fight Club, you then pause the game to mentally go over every move made in the game, looking for holes in the twist only to find there are none. Would you kindly accept the award for sheer brilliance, 2K?
Having said that, I am beginning to worry about Bioshock 2. Every little trinket and tidbit left behind by "Eleanor" (at this point I'm not convinced that Eleanor is even real, or that she isn't the Big Sister, but that is another post entirely) has the sweet, thoughtful remark of "Hope this helps." Maybe I'm paranoid or over-analyzing the situation, but after seeing this phrase at numerous key points, I'm starting to smell another control phrase. Which would, needless to say, fall woefully short of the Bioshock mark. As a wise man once said, you don't run the same gag, you run the next one. Just because something worked once does NOT mean it will work a second time. In fact all a second go-around will do is cheapen the first go-around.
HOWEVER, I'm totally willing to admit that this could just be a sign of brilliance on 2K's part: my experience from the first game, coupled with the unease and tension I feel from knowing Big Sister is out there hunting me, may have completely fried my sense of ease. I find myself completely untrusting of anyone or anything. Sinclair? Too smooth! Tennenbaum? Not so noble! I don't trust any of your people! And sweet, cutesy little girl leaving me gifts with a mysterious worded, repeated phrase? I don't think so!
If it turns out that this is all a ploy by 2K and everything really is on the level, then bravo. Well played, sirs (and madams). But if my suspicions are, unfortunately, grounded and come to life... well then I shall feel grave disappointment. And because I have a strong feeling it will be the latter rather than the former, I cannot seem to shake the sense of disenchantment shadowing my every move through Rapture.
Video games are always trying throw twists and turns into their plots ala Hollywood. Sometimes they fall woefully short of the mark (see: Infamous for the video game equivalent of a Dallas-twist), and sometimes they are sublime. Bioshock had what was, easily, one of my most favorite plot twists ever. Having spent the entirety of our exploration of Rapture listening to a eerily polite, proper gentleman named Atlas asking us "would you kindly," the entire experience is turned up on end when it is revealed that "would you kindly" is really a post-hypnotic suggestion programmed for our obedience. Ah! Much like with The Sixth Sense or Fight Club, you then pause the game to mentally go over every move made in the game, looking for holes in the twist only to find there are none. Would you kindly accept the award for sheer brilliance, 2K?
Having said that, I am beginning to worry about Bioshock 2. Every little trinket and tidbit left behind by "Eleanor" (at this point I'm not convinced that Eleanor is even real, or that she isn't the Big Sister, but that is another post entirely) has the sweet, thoughtful remark of "Hope this helps." Maybe I'm paranoid or over-analyzing the situation, but after seeing this phrase at numerous key points, I'm starting to smell another control phrase. Which would, needless to say, fall woefully short of the Bioshock mark. As a wise man once said, you don't run the same gag, you run the next one. Just because something worked once does NOT mean it will work a second time. In fact all a second go-around will do is cheapen the first go-around.
HOWEVER, I'm totally willing to admit that this could just be a sign of brilliance on 2K's part: my experience from the first game, coupled with the unease and tension I feel from knowing Big Sister is out there hunting me, may have completely fried my sense of ease. I find myself completely untrusting of anyone or anything. Sinclair? Too smooth! Tennenbaum? Not so noble! I don't trust any of your people! And sweet, cutesy little girl leaving me gifts with a mysterious worded, repeated phrase? I don't think so!
If it turns out that this is all a ploy by 2K and everything really is on the level, then bravo. Well played, sirs (and madams). But if my suspicions are, unfortunately, grounded and come to life... well then I shall feel grave disappointment. And because I have a strong feeling it will be the latter rather than the former, I cannot seem to shake the sense of disenchantment shadowing my every move through Rapture.
Friday, February 12, 2010
Setting the mood...
I have always attested that one of my favorite horror games, as far as mood is concerned, was Resident Evil: Nemesis. True, RE4 was a much better game, and Fatal Frame II was far scarier, but Nemesis was the only game that had me in a constant state of paranoia. The main villain, Nemesis, had a knack for following me around and jumping out when I least expected it. In fact, towards the end of the game I had Jill Valentine (complete with tube top and go-go boots) slowly edging down alleyways thinking "It's about time for Mr. Man to show up..." Coupled with hearing him walk and breathe behind walls... the whole experience was a nice nerve-wracking experiment with paranoia. No other game has quite instilled this dogged feeling in me since. Until now.
Enter Bioshock 2. General opinions of the game aside (yes it is absolutely stunningly detailed and gorgeous, and it is all too easy to get lost in the scenery), it has got to be one of the best mood-driven games I've played since, well, RE:N (and naturally Bioshock 1). Within 5 minutes of your re-entry to Rapture, you encounter the much-anticipated and speculated Big Sister, and is she ever wicked. Springing around the room like a mechanical spider, she threatens you and packs a punch that can take you to near death if you make the mistake of letting her box you in. She is annoyingly unkillable and an all around formidable foe.
But that's not what makes her so badass. Upon your initial encounter, you are able to knock off about 1/4 of her health at which point she runs away. You give chase only to see her acrobatic-flipping out of the room. There is seemingly no sign of her until a few rooms later when she floods your room in attempt to kill you. Fortunately Big Daddy's diving suit isn't just for show and you're able to explore the ocean in a spectacular visual treat. And then you see Big Sister lurking around a corner. And another. And another. Subtlety is key here as in some instances if you blink you'll miss her, but it only takes a few glimpses to instill that sense of predator and prey. The unmistakable sense that not only is she hunting you, but she's toying with you too. When is she going to jump out? I find myself going into rooms, edging around corners and trying to defeat Splicers as fast as possible so as to avoid a possible Splicer + Big Sister rumble of death.
Popping up every now and then to beat you senseless and then retreating, Big Sister is that dogging foe that so many games seem to miss. That sense of imminent and real danger. Not just the "There's probably something around this corner" feeling that every game delivers, but that sense that you are truly not alone in Rapture, and unlike last game, you are not the biggest fish in the sea.
Well played 2k, well played. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a Big Sister to go tangle with.
Enter Bioshock 2. General opinions of the game aside (yes it is absolutely stunningly detailed and gorgeous, and it is all too easy to get lost in the scenery), it has got to be one of the best mood-driven games I've played since, well, RE:N (and naturally Bioshock 1). Within 5 minutes of your re-entry to Rapture, you encounter the much-anticipated and speculated Big Sister, and is she ever wicked. Springing around the room like a mechanical spider, she threatens you and packs a punch that can take you to near death if you make the mistake of letting her box you in. She is annoyingly unkillable and an all around formidable foe.
But that's not what makes her so badass. Upon your initial encounter, you are able to knock off about 1/4 of her health at which point she runs away. You give chase only to see her acrobatic-flipping out of the room. There is seemingly no sign of her until a few rooms later when she floods your room in attempt to kill you. Fortunately Big Daddy's diving suit isn't just for show and you're able to explore the ocean in a spectacular visual treat. And then you see Big Sister lurking around a corner. And another. And another. Subtlety is key here as in some instances if you blink you'll miss her, but it only takes a few glimpses to instill that sense of predator and prey. The unmistakable sense that not only is she hunting you, but she's toying with you too. When is she going to jump out? I find myself going into rooms, edging around corners and trying to defeat Splicers as fast as possible so as to avoid a possible Splicer + Big Sister rumble of death.
Popping up every now and then to beat you senseless and then retreating, Big Sister is that dogging foe that so many games seem to miss. That sense of imminent and real danger. Not just the "There's probably something around this corner" feeling that every game delivers, but that sense that you are truly not alone in Rapture, and unlike last game, you are not the biggest fish in the sea.
Well played 2k, well played. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a Big Sister to go tangle with.
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Returning to Ostagar, not such a great idea actually.
So after waiting and waiting and waiting for BioWare to iron out the glitches of the DA:O DLC "Return to Ostagar," I patiently waited for it to download and my daughter to go to sleep so I could get on and relive the excitement that is Ostagar with all five of my characters that have beaten the game. And let me tell you ... disappointing! Ugh.
I knew it wasn't going to be quite as involved as "The Stone Prisoner," but I didn't think it would be somehow less involved than freaking "Warden's Keep." You get armor, two words and a dagger. PERIOD. And you fight 20 some-odd darkspawn, which considering that all five of my characters have already killed the archdemon, that leaves some questions in this RPer's head.
It was mildly sad to see Cailin's body crucified and used as a pin cushion by the darkspawn, but in the cutscene (which they are all too happy to replay for you), it clearly shows Cailin being crushed by an ogre, and blood spurting everywhere. How the hell is he perfectly intact to hang like a trophy? And why is his armor on three different creatures? And as Sten wonders, what the hell kind of man leaves a sword like that in a trunk. AND FURTHERMORE, why can I get Duncan's sword and knife, but Duncan's body is nowhere to be found?!
*sigh* I suppose the major issue with this DLC is that feels like too little, too late. Cailin's shield is nowhere near as good as Duncan's, which I got from the original game, and his armor was a side-grade at best for the Warden's armor. It was more a matter of whether or not you want your character to look dignified in all black or shine like the top of the Chrysler building. With promises of a newer, bigger, shinier DLC on the horizon, this just didn't do anything for me. It's like getting ready for 4th of July and finding out the only fireworks your parents bought were snakes and pops. And much like snakes and pops the joy of the DLC can be played up and forgotten in 20 minutes.
Also, the DLC is still buggy. On initial startup it told me Stone Prisoner and Warden's Keep were corrupted and needed to be redownloaded. It also "had no record" of me having bought them and wanted to charge me again to download them. On a hunch I restarted and then those were okay, but Blood Dragon Armor was corrupt. On the THIRD restart everything was okay. Not cool.
I knew it wasn't going to be quite as involved as "The Stone Prisoner," but I didn't think it would be somehow less involved than freaking "Warden's Keep." You get armor, two words and a dagger. PERIOD. And you fight 20 some-odd darkspawn, which considering that all five of my characters have already killed the archdemon, that leaves some questions in this RPer's head.
It was mildly sad to see Cailin's body crucified and used as a pin cushion by the darkspawn, but in the cutscene (which they are all too happy to replay for you), it clearly shows Cailin being crushed by an ogre, and blood spurting everywhere. How the hell is he perfectly intact to hang like a trophy? And why is his armor on three different creatures? And as Sten wonders, what the hell kind of man leaves a sword like that in a trunk. AND FURTHERMORE, why can I get Duncan's sword and knife, but Duncan's body is nowhere to be found?!
*sigh* I suppose the major issue with this DLC is that feels like too little, too late. Cailin's shield is nowhere near as good as Duncan's, which I got from the original game, and his armor was a side-grade at best for the Warden's armor. It was more a matter of whether or not you want your character to look dignified in all black or shine like the top of the Chrysler building. With promises of a newer, bigger, shinier DLC on the horizon, this just didn't do anything for me. It's like getting ready for 4th of July and finding out the only fireworks your parents bought were snakes and pops. And much like snakes and pops the joy of the DLC can be played up and forgotten in 20 minutes.
Also, the DLC is still buggy. On initial startup it told me Stone Prisoner and Warden's Keep were corrupted and needed to be redownloaded. It also "had no record" of me having bought them and wanted to charge me again to download them. On a hunch I restarted and then those were okay, but Blood Dragon Armor was corrupt. On the THIRD restart everything was okay. Not cool.
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Musing on the Mass Effect 2 team.
** Warning: Spoilers Below **
So as I've finished ME2 for the second time, I have to take a moment to muse about the team selection. Granted part of the fun is finding new teammates and doing their subsequent loyalty quests, but for every really cool, in-depth character offered, there is a half-ass carbon copy added moments later. The redundancy in the game is mind boggling. Honestly I would have preferred half the team and a better fleshed-out story. And when you consider you can only take TWO team members with you at any given time (even on the freaking suicide missions!) it begs the question of why in the hell we needed so many damn characters. Lemme break it down for you:
Miranda & Jacob: Okay I get why these two are the exact same character. They are your token human love interests and there had to be one for men and one for women. Also they are opposite poles on the moral compass; Miranda is a cold, calculating "whatever it takes" sort of person where as Jacob is the "this doesn't feel right..." warm, fuzzy end of the compass. However if you look beyond their sex and race, they're the same damn character. Moderate shooting abilities, mild biotics, flat, boring personalities and stories... meh. Both of them stayed on board my ship except for when I dusted them off for their loyalty missions.
Grunt & Zaeed: Easily my two favorite characters of the entire game, and my escorts on ANY missions that allowed me to freely choose. However I gotta admit they're the same character in every way except race. Both are violent, battle-hungry and callous individuals who offer the "kill them all!" responses to any situation. Zaeed is a little more morally ambiguous, but is definitely the hooker with the heart of gold character. Almost every line out of Grunt's mouth is gold, and his loyalty mission is super fun. Both prefer shotguns and are great for close-quarters combat. Personal love of both characters aside, you could have done with one or the other, and I'm going to have to go with Grunt on this because what is an ME game without a blood-lusting Krogan? (and I'm bitter that Zaeed wasn't a romance option)
Samara & Subject Zero (aka Jack): Ugggggggh. I don't know which of these characters annoys me the MOST. I'm going to have to go with Subject Zero/Jack simply because she's the angry girl stereotype. Hot and showing lots of skin, but spouting off ridiculous "tough girl" statements, I spent her entire loyalty mission wanting to strangle her. Not to mention her loyalty mission felt like the equivalent of an Oscar vehicle movie (Revolutionary Road, anyone?). The developers wanted me to feel sorry for her, but I just couldn't. I didn't try so hard to breeze through any other mission in the game as I did hers. She's a powerful biotic but so is her carbon copy, Samara, and she's a heck of a lot more interesting. Though Samara definitely irked the hell out of my inner-feminist with her ridiculous DD boob job. Ugh. Shephard needed an option to ask her to zip up her damn jacket. That aside, her story was far more developed and her loyalty mission was actually kind of fun. Keep her, throw Jack in the trash.
Thane, Legion & Garrus: I totally admit to squeeing when I saw Archangel revealed as Garrus. Joy! I always had a thing for the annoyingly straight-laced Garrus in ME, and was overjoyed at the prospect of him being a romance option in ME2, though his romance scene is unarguably one of the least, *ahem* fulfilling. But I digress. Garrus is a sniper and a helluva good shot. He's also an alien. To me the part of "alien sniper" had been filled. But then in walks Thane. Finding Thane was definitely a fun trip, and his intro scene is nothing short of cinematic. HOWEVER, why the hell do I have this person on my team?! He reveals he's dying which tells me he won't be in ME3, and he's an alien sniper, a role that has already been filled. What is he doing here?! I was so wildly unimpressed with Thane that I didn't even bother to do his loyalty mission the first go-around which resulted in his death in the suicide mission. *sigh* Waste of time. Last in the carbon copy world we have Legion, who I also genuinely liked. He was the only copy (oh look, another alien sniper!) that I enjoyed and understood because it looks like the geth will be playing a major role in ME3. But sadly he, too, sat on the ship save his loyalty mission because I already had an alien sniper.
Mordin & Tali: While not copies in abilities, these two both fell into the "Huh. Okay..." category. I'm not really sure why they bothered to bring Tali back, other than her buddy is Jayne Cobb (holy cameo, Batman!). Her loyalty mission was easily the most emotional of all as I felt genuine sadness for the outcome, but why is she on my team? She spends the entirety of her conversations telling me that Cerberus did a good job rebuilding the Normandy and everything looks good. What are you here? Oh, that's right, the male Shepard needs a female alien love interest. Gotcha. Mordin is definitely an interesting character, and the fact that he sings Guilbert and Sullivan is definitely worth his being on my ship (along with his warning against chaffing), and his loyalty mission is also very emotional and interesting. But other than offering me a few useful upgrades, I never quite understood why I have him on my team. Like Tali he could have shown up to help and then disappeared.
I get the impression the designers had a bunch of great ideas and just weren't sure where to cut. Or they wanted to offer lots of options. Don't want Garrus as your alien sniper? Try the frogman! No frogman? Try the geth! Ehhhhh... I guess my complaints wouldn't be so irksome if I were allowed more than TWO team members. Seriously? TWO?! Give me Grunt, Garrus, Miranda, Samara, & Mordin and call it a day.
But then that's just my opinion on the matter.
So as I've finished ME2 for the second time, I have to take a moment to muse about the team selection. Granted part of the fun is finding new teammates and doing their subsequent loyalty quests, but for every really cool, in-depth character offered, there is a half-ass carbon copy added moments later. The redundancy in the game is mind boggling. Honestly I would have preferred half the team and a better fleshed-out story. And when you consider you can only take TWO team members with you at any given time (even on the freaking suicide missions!) it begs the question of why in the hell we needed so many damn characters. Lemme break it down for you:
Miranda & Jacob: Okay I get why these two are the exact same character. They are your token human love interests and there had to be one for men and one for women. Also they are opposite poles on the moral compass; Miranda is a cold, calculating "whatever it takes" sort of person where as Jacob is the "this doesn't feel right..." warm, fuzzy end of the compass. However if you look beyond their sex and race, they're the same damn character. Moderate shooting abilities, mild biotics, flat, boring personalities and stories... meh. Both of them stayed on board my ship except for when I dusted them off for their loyalty missions.
Grunt & Zaeed: Easily my two favorite characters of the entire game, and my escorts on ANY missions that allowed me to freely choose. However I gotta admit they're the same character in every way except race. Both are violent, battle-hungry and callous individuals who offer the "kill them all!" responses to any situation. Zaeed is a little more morally ambiguous, but is definitely the hooker with the heart of gold character. Almost every line out of Grunt's mouth is gold, and his loyalty mission is super fun. Both prefer shotguns and are great for close-quarters combat. Personal love of both characters aside, you could have done with one or the other, and I'm going to have to go with Grunt on this because what is an ME game without a blood-lusting Krogan? (and I'm bitter that Zaeed wasn't a romance option)
Samara & Subject Zero (aka Jack): Ugggggggh. I don't know which of these characters annoys me the MOST. I'm going to have to go with Subject Zero/Jack simply because she's the angry girl stereotype. Hot and showing lots of skin, but spouting off ridiculous "tough girl" statements, I spent her entire loyalty mission wanting to strangle her. Not to mention her loyalty mission felt like the equivalent of an Oscar vehicle movie (Revolutionary Road, anyone?). The developers wanted me to feel sorry for her, but I just couldn't. I didn't try so hard to breeze through any other mission in the game as I did hers. She's a powerful biotic but so is her carbon copy, Samara, and she's a heck of a lot more interesting. Though Samara definitely irked the hell out of my inner-feminist with her ridiculous DD boob job. Ugh. Shephard needed an option to ask her to zip up her damn jacket. That aside, her story was far more developed and her loyalty mission was actually kind of fun. Keep her, throw Jack in the trash.
Thane, Legion & Garrus: I totally admit to squeeing when I saw Archangel revealed as Garrus. Joy! I always had a thing for the annoyingly straight-laced Garrus in ME, and was overjoyed at the prospect of him being a romance option in ME2, though his romance scene is unarguably one of the least, *ahem* fulfilling. But I digress. Garrus is a sniper and a helluva good shot. He's also an alien. To me the part of "alien sniper" had been filled. But then in walks Thane. Finding Thane was definitely a fun trip, and his intro scene is nothing short of cinematic. HOWEVER, why the hell do I have this person on my team?! He reveals he's dying which tells me he won't be in ME3, and he's an alien sniper, a role that has already been filled. What is he doing here?! I was so wildly unimpressed with Thane that I didn't even bother to do his loyalty mission the first go-around which resulted in his death in the suicide mission. *sigh* Waste of time. Last in the carbon copy world we have Legion, who I also genuinely liked. He was the only copy (oh look, another alien sniper!) that I enjoyed and understood because it looks like the geth will be playing a major role in ME3. But sadly he, too, sat on the ship save his loyalty mission because I already had an alien sniper.
Mordin & Tali: While not copies in abilities, these two both fell into the "Huh. Okay..." category. I'm not really sure why they bothered to bring Tali back, other than her buddy is Jayne Cobb (holy cameo, Batman!). Her loyalty mission was easily the most emotional of all as I felt genuine sadness for the outcome, but why is she on my team? She spends the entirety of her conversations telling me that Cerberus did a good job rebuilding the Normandy and everything looks good. What are you here? Oh, that's right, the male Shepard needs a female alien love interest. Gotcha. Mordin is definitely an interesting character, and the fact that he sings Guilbert and Sullivan is definitely worth his being on my ship (along with his warning against chaffing), and his loyalty mission is also very emotional and interesting. But other than offering me a few useful upgrades, I never quite understood why I have him on my team. Like Tali he could have shown up to help and then disappeared.
I get the impression the designers had a bunch of great ideas and just weren't sure where to cut. Or they wanted to offer lots of options. Don't want Garrus as your alien sniper? Try the frogman! No frogman? Try the geth! Ehhhhh... I guess my complaints wouldn't be so irksome if I were allowed more than TWO team members. Seriously? TWO?! Give me Grunt, Garrus, Miranda, Samara, & Mordin and call it a day.
But then that's just my opinion on the matter.
Army of Two: The 40th Day
First let me say that this game is not going to win any awards for originality, character design, script or story. In fact every one of those elements is trite and simplistic at best. Rios and Salem (insert any gay jokes here) are visiting Shanghai when a terrorist group begins to destroy the city on a comic scale. They seriously try to raze the city and the rest of the world (including CHINA) just kind of sit and watch... oooooookay. And that's about the extent of the plot. Our boys are two overgrown frat boys who exchange mediocre banter about "boning" endangered species (I wish I was kidding), and reminiscing about the good ol' days where they were outnumbered and killed everything. *yawn* All of these elements would give the game a 'D' at best.
HOWEVER, having beaten every aspect of Borderlands with DH, we decided we needed another co-op splitscreen shooter and seeing as they are still a rare breed, we rented AoT on a whim. And I have to say -- while not as much fun as Borderlands -- it was a damn fun time. I can see how the game would be infuriating if having to wait on the AI, but if playing with another person, it's a freaking blast. DH and I knew we had chosen wisely when one scenario had us running down the side of a turned-over building, taking cover behind the myriad of chest-high walls (yeah, yeah, yeah), and bouncing aggro off one another.
Which brings me to the aggro system. This is one of the rare unique gems of the franchise and I gotta say, I wish more games had it. For those unfamiliar the aggro system is quite simple: Player 1 shoots a person and gains aggro (as indicated by the convenient red bar on the side of the screen). Player 2 is then "invisible" and can sneak around the map and descend from the rafters like a bat to kill, say, a mounted gunner who is impeding progress. Player 2 then has aggro, and Player 1 can run around and sneak up behind folks. It's an awesome system that allows you to simultaneously hone your sneaky-ninja skills and your brawler devil-may-care skills. Loved it. Though this is another item that I think would necessitate 2-player action. I can't imagine waiting around for the damned AI to figure out what you want it to do.
Another aspect of the game that we enjoyed, and some reviewers have complained about, was the "morality" system. On one hand, this is nothing new; games have been making us make decisions for awhile now, and the decisions are almost always the difference between Mother Theresa and Stalin. The morality system here is not much different, and the choices are almost always "kill" or "let live." However unlike most games, AoT delivers a quick comic book style glimpse into the repercussions of your decision making. Granted they have more twists and turns than a Hideo Kajima game (insert Robot Chicken's M. Night Shyamalan's "What a twist!"), but it's still a sort of dog biscuit for making a decision. **Mild Spoiler** For instance the first decision is to either kill or spare a fellow mercenary in the beginning of the game. If you choose to kill him, Rios proves to be the worst executioner in the entire world by planting a bullet in the back of the merc's head, only to have him turn around and attack Rios. Oye. They knock him off the building and gripe about it. If you spare him, you are rewarded with a scene depicting him shedding his arms and armor, finding a huge stash of cash and going to retire on a tropical beach somewhere. Aaaaaaaaand then a commando jumps out of the water and kills him. Which definitely begs the question of whether or not they just wanted you to kill him initially. **End Spoiler**
The action is intense, the weapon modification borders between cool and chintzy, and overall it provided hours of good fun for us as a couple. Overall I give it a 'C,' because while it's great fun to play co-op, I'm not sure it would offer much for single-player.
HOWEVER, having beaten every aspect of Borderlands with DH, we decided we needed another co-op splitscreen shooter and seeing as they are still a rare breed, we rented AoT on a whim. And I have to say -- while not as much fun as Borderlands -- it was a damn fun time. I can see how the game would be infuriating if having to wait on the AI, but if playing with another person, it's a freaking blast. DH and I knew we had chosen wisely when one scenario had us running down the side of a turned-over building, taking cover behind the myriad of chest-high walls (yeah, yeah, yeah), and bouncing aggro off one another.
Which brings me to the aggro system. This is one of the rare unique gems of the franchise and I gotta say, I wish more games had it. For those unfamiliar the aggro system is quite simple: Player 1 shoots a person and gains aggro (as indicated by the convenient red bar on the side of the screen). Player 2 is then "invisible" and can sneak around the map and descend from the rafters like a bat to kill, say, a mounted gunner who is impeding progress. Player 2 then has aggro, and Player 1 can run around and sneak up behind folks. It's an awesome system that allows you to simultaneously hone your sneaky-ninja skills and your brawler devil-may-care skills. Loved it. Though this is another item that I think would necessitate 2-player action. I can't imagine waiting around for the damned AI to figure out what you want it to do.
Another aspect of the game that we enjoyed, and some reviewers have complained about, was the "morality" system. On one hand, this is nothing new; games have been making us make decisions for awhile now, and the decisions are almost always the difference between Mother Theresa and Stalin. The morality system here is not much different, and the choices are almost always "kill" or "let live." However unlike most games, AoT delivers a quick comic book style glimpse into the repercussions of your decision making. Granted they have more twists and turns than a Hideo Kajima game (insert Robot Chicken's M. Night Shyamalan's "What a twist!"), but it's still a sort of dog biscuit for making a decision. **Mild Spoiler** For instance the first decision is to either kill or spare a fellow mercenary in the beginning of the game. If you choose to kill him, Rios proves to be the worst executioner in the entire world by planting a bullet in the back of the merc's head, only to have him turn around and attack Rios. Oye. They knock him off the building and gripe about it. If you spare him, you are rewarded with a scene depicting him shedding his arms and armor, finding a huge stash of cash and going to retire on a tropical beach somewhere. Aaaaaaaaand then a commando jumps out of the water and kills him. Which definitely begs the question of whether or not they just wanted you to kill him initially. **End Spoiler**
The action is intense, the weapon modification borders between cool and chintzy, and overall it provided hours of good fun for us as a couple. Overall I give it a 'C,' because while it's great fun to play co-op, I'm not sure it would offer much for single-player.
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