Playing "God of War III" reminds me that really, Kratos is a dick. Zeus pretty much sums it up by calling him a petulant child. For those unfamiliar, here is the Cliff Notes version of the story of Kratos:
God of War -- Kratos, nearly defeated in battle, calls upon Ares to help him win. Ares turns him into, essentially, a juggernaut whose sole purpose in life is war (blood for the blood god! Oh wait, wrong series...). Kratos goes home, murders his family and then, realizing what horrible thing he has done, he swears revenge on Ares. Okay, fair enough.
God of War II -- Having killed Ares in GoW, Kratos is now the new god of war (wow! No one saw THAT coming!!) and is fairly bored with his position. He acts like a jerk to all the other gods and seems to seek out war for war's sake. Annoyed, Zeus tricks Kratos into giving up his powers and kills Kratos. Not one to let death get him down, Kratos proceeds to swear revenge (apparently there's money to be made in the revenge business) on Zeus, and with the help of his new found friends the Titans, he rages war on Olympus. Oh yeah, he kills Athena along the way. Oooookay...
So that brings us up to GoWIII where Kratos has spent the first hour of the game swearing revenge (*yawn*) and throwing his toys around the room. Athena shows up briefly to, apparently, give credence to what Kratos is trying to do, but at this point, there is very little to like about Kratos.
The gameplay is fun, as always, and even though every game since GoW has instilled the dreaded quick time event (i.e. "press X to not die"), the original is still the best and GoWIII manages to make the quick time events fun and rather exciting. The action is great, attacks are fun and all the other shiny things a game is supposed to have.
But it's hard to get really sucked into the game when the voice actor went to the Christian Bale school of constipated grunt acting and over-emphasizes every word out of his mouth. Oh, and the fact that he's a giant dick who can't seem to get over all the wrongs visited upon him by ... oh wait, isn't this all his fault?? Again, just because you're a dick doesn't mean you're an anti-hero -- it's means you're a poster child for frat boys with too much testosterone.
Borderlands was a game that was thin on story, but great on gameplay and that worked because you were probably playing with a buddy and it was funny as hell. I don't care what the haters say, the clap-traps were funny. GoWIII is thin on story, but even great gameplay isn't saving it for me. Even some of the most beautiful backgrounds, amazing camera work and spiffy quicktime events can't hide the crappy voice acting and "Uh... so yeah, then this happens..." storyline. I've heard more interesting stories from three-year olds.
I'm an hour in and I can already tell what's going to happen: Kratos will kill all the gods. I just hope they manage to slap a little more meat on these bones.
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
A Spectacular Romp in Merely Adequate Land
So after waiting months for Dragon Age: Origins "Awakening" expansion pack, I have to say in a nutshell that it's good but bland. For those who remember their SATs, Awakening is to Dragon Age as Tribunal was to Morrowind. That is to say, it's a good, solid expansion pack, but at the end of the day it doesn't feel like anything riveting, groundbreaking and new. It's not "Bloodmoon."
The game opens with you, the High-Commander of the Grey Wardens, returning to Vigil's Keep which was once Arl Howe's land, and was given to the Grey after the end of DA:O. In a nice turn you can opt to either start a new character from Orlais, or import your old character from DA:O, assuming you didn't die in the end. This, I have to say, makes me happy because I'm rather attached to my Dalish Rogue, Arshes.
Of course as soon as you arrive you discover the Keep has been overrun with darkspawn, and nearly all of the Grey Wardens are dead. Gosh, I hope my character hadn't been pouring her sweat and blood into rebuilding the order while she was waiting for the expansion pack. What a let-down that would have been! Once again you're surrounded by darkspawn, petty politics and annoying companions.
And this is where the banality of the game starts in. Oghren makes a return appearance, joining the Grey Wardens, which begs the question: why didn't you just turn him into a Grey Warden in the first damn game if it was possible? Oh, I guess he'd be dead with the others ... Anyway, he's back as the token drunk, crude-humor aspect. While Oghren is definitely funny to listen to, and provides some good campside humor, I have a huge problem with him: I can never seem to guess what is going to get approval/disapproval with him. I know a lot of people had that complain with Sten from last game, but I always found Sten to be ridiculously easy to get along with and truthfully he was my favorite character. It was Oghren that did and continues to baffle me. Taking the nice route gains disapproval, as does the negative route. Talking to him makes me pine for the idiot-friendly system of Mass Effect 1 & 2 that clearly points out the Paragon, Renegade options. Grrrr...
You pick up an apostate mage named Anders who is already on my sh*t list for a variety of reasons. For one: I swear to God he is voiced by the same guy who did Alistair. That, in and of itself, is annoying and creepy. But the character is an amalgam of Alistair and Morrigan: he has the cocky, wise-cracking attitude of Alistair and the "I hate the chantry and Circle of Magi," "oh my God those evil templars are at it again," attitude of Morrigan. It's like they were trying to kill 2 birds with one stone and failed miserably.
Next is Arl Howe's whiney, emo son Nathaniel. He is, quite literally, the male counterpart to Leiliana. A decent rouge who's constantly promising the darkspawn and undead creatures that he wants to be merciful to them and hates the fight. Wth?! He is coming to grips with his father's evil, treacherous ways and his new role as a Grey Warden. *yawn* I foresee him spending a great deal of time at camp.
*** Mild Spoiler *** The only mildly interesting character thus far as been the personification of Justice, who is trapped in a dead Grey Warden's body. Don't ask, it's a long story. However the reason I like him is that he is basically Sten reborn; in fact I have taking to calling him Sten #2. He's stoic, confused by our world/customs/feelings, and doesn't like to waste time talking. He is also oblivious to Oghren's constant jokes. Excuse me while I bang my head against my desk.
There are no romance options in this game, either. Bioware said they wanted players to concentrate on the story rather than the interactions. Okay, if I wanted to concentrate on story and not interactions, I wouldn't be playing a Bioware game. That's the whole reason we shell out money for their product! The chance to RP it up and romance NPCs! What's the purpose of me gaining approval, giving gifts, and talking to these people if there's no chance for romance!
Oh yeah, while we're on that topic, the gifts are suddenly very obvious as to whom they belong to. In the last game you had to kind of guess, and talk and play around. Now they might as well be labeled "for so-and-so."
AND ANOTHER THING!!! It was nice to see Oghren in his Armor of the Legion from last game, but goddammit if I knew I was going to lose my inventory, I would have gone ahead and put the Warden Commander's armor ON my rogue, rather than having it sit in my pack. *grumble*
I'm about half-way through at this point, so I'll keep griping, er, updating on it. :)
The game opens with you, the High-Commander of the Grey Wardens, returning to Vigil's Keep which was once Arl Howe's land, and was given to the Grey after the end of DA:O. In a nice turn you can opt to either start a new character from Orlais, or import your old character from DA:O, assuming you didn't die in the end. This, I have to say, makes me happy because I'm rather attached to my Dalish Rogue, Arshes.
Of course as soon as you arrive you discover the Keep has been overrun with darkspawn, and nearly all of the Grey Wardens are dead. Gosh, I hope my character hadn't been pouring her sweat and blood into rebuilding the order while she was waiting for the expansion pack. What a let-down that would have been! Once again you're surrounded by darkspawn, petty politics and annoying companions.
And this is where the banality of the game starts in. Oghren makes a return appearance, joining the Grey Wardens, which begs the question: why didn't you just turn him into a Grey Warden in the first damn game if it was possible? Oh, I guess he'd be dead with the others ... Anyway, he's back as the token drunk, crude-humor aspect. While Oghren is definitely funny to listen to, and provides some good campside humor, I have a huge problem with him: I can never seem to guess what is going to get approval/disapproval with him. I know a lot of people had that complain with Sten from last game, but I always found Sten to be ridiculously easy to get along with and truthfully he was my favorite character. It was Oghren that did and continues to baffle me. Taking the nice route gains disapproval, as does the negative route. Talking to him makes me pine for the idiot-friendly system of Mass Effect 1 & 2 that clearly points out the Paragon, Renegade options. Grrrr...
You pick up an apostate mage named Anders who is already on my sh*t list for a variety of reasons. For one: I swear to God he is voiced by the same guy who did Alistair. That, in and of itself, is annoying and creepy. But the character is an amalgam of Alistair and Morrigan: he has the cocky, wise-cracking attitude of Alistair and the "I hate the chantry and Circle of Magi," "oh my God those evil templars are at it again," attitude of Morrigan. It's like they were trying to kill 2 birds with one stone and failed miserably.
Next is Arl Howe's whiney, emo son Nathaniel. He is, quite literally, the male counterpart to Leiliana. A decent rouge who's constantly promising the darkspawn and undead creatures that he wants to be merciful to them and hates the fight. Wth?! He is coming to grips with his father's evil, treacherous ways and his new role as a Grey Warden. *yawn* I foresee him spending a great deal of time at camp.
*** Mild Spoiler *** The only mildly interesting character thus far as been the personification of Justice, who is trapped in a dead Grey Warden's body. Don't ask, it's a long story. However the reason I like him is that he is basically Sten reborn; in fact I have taking to calling him Sten #2. He's stoic, confused by our world/customs/feelings, and doesn't like to waste time talking. He is also oblivious to Oghren's constant jokes. Excuse me while I bang my head against my desk.
There are no romance options in this game, either. Bioware said they wanted players to concentrate on the story rather than the interactions. Okay, if I wanted to concentrate on story and not interactions, I wouldn't be playing a Bioware game. That's the whole reason we shell out money for their product! The chance to RP it up and romance NPCs! What's the purpose of me gaining approval, giving gifts, and talking to these people if there's no chance for romance!
Oh yeah, while we're on that topic, the gifts are suddenly very obvious as to whom they belong to. In the last game you had to kind of guess, and talk and play around. Now they might as well be labeled "for so-and-so."
AND ANOTHER THING!!! It was nice to see Oghren in his Armor of the Legion from last game, but goddammit if I knew I was going to lose my inventory, I would have gone ahead and put the Warden Commander's armor ON my rogue, rather than having it sit in my pack. *grumble*
I'm about half-way through at this point, so I'll keep griping, er, updating on it. :)
Sunday, March 14, 2010
To Final Fantasy or Not to Final Fantasy, that is the question...
So I'm always torn on Final Fantasy games. For the most part I think people fall into two categories: those who think Final Fantasy games are the ultimate expression of video game awesomness and the type of thing Jesus Christ would play if he played games, and those who think Final Fantasy is teh awful lameness.
For the most part I tend to agree with the latter group. I enjoyed FFVII in high school, but what self-respecting nerd didn't? I liked FF X "okay," though I feel I need to point out that my favorite part of FFX was the damn blitz ball mini-game. That's not exactly a glowing review for a game. I liked Final Fantasy X-2 because if you ignored the horrible plot, and the fact that it was, essentially, a crappy attempt on SquareEnix's part to appease its fans who were distraught over Titus and Yuna NOT getting together in FFX, the collection aspect of the game was rather fun. I'm typically anti-kawaii when it comes to my games, and I'm certainly not a girly-girl, but I did really enjoy collecting new costumes and playing with them. Though once I did get them all (like Pokemon...) I figured out very quickly that the dark knight and samurai = win, and pretty much never changed them. Ah well.
But that's it. The other games have done absolutely nothing for me and here's why: they're the same fucking game.
The same characters are in every game. Don't waste my time trying to say they're not. The androgynous hero who is a tortured soul and more often than not has some glaring familial issue (almost always daddy); the love interest who is either too proud or too callow to admit their feelings until the very end of the game when the whole point is moot anyway; the plucky female character who takes on a strange pseudo-sexual little sister role; the cocky male buddy/bromance; the dark, mysterious person who, it will always be revealed, has some sort of connection with the evil entity in the game; the serious, dark, morose, emo voice of reason (this character can be male or female depending); and "the other," who is generally a different race altogether. It's as if they take the characters, dip them in bleach, paint new faces and hit play. Oh joy.
The same world/scenery/scenario is in every game. Oh sure it has a different name, different ethnicities (except those damn chocobos and cactaurs. They are apparently universal) and different fun diversions, but no matter how many cutesy mini-games, or words or vehicles they put into a game, it's the same story every time: Happy, harmonious people are suddenly disrupted by an evil being/corporation and it's up to our heroes to save the world. Really?
I've not played FFXIII, but looking at it, I can tell it's going to be the same thing. But, like a glutton for punishment, I'm going to rent the damn thing and spend my evenings cursing the banality and triteness of the game, and wishing a pox upon the first born children of SquareEnix.
So I guess the real question is who's the bigger fool: SquareEnix, or me? Don't answer that.
For the most part I tend to agree with the latter group. I enjoyed FFVII in high school, but what self-respecting nerd didn't? I liked FF X "okay," though I feel I need to point out that my favorite part of FFX was the damn blitz ball mini-game. That's not exactly a glowing review for a game. I liked Final Fantasy X-2 because if you ignored the horrible plot, and the fact that it was, essentially, a crappy attempt on SquareEnix's part to appease its fans who were distraught over Titus and Yuna NOT getting together in FFX, the collection aspect of the game was rather fun. I'm typically anti-kawaii when it comes to my games, and I'm certainly not a girly-girl, but I did really enjoy collecting new costumes and playing with them. Though once I did get them all (like Pokemon...) I figured out very quickly that the dark knight and samurai = win, and pretty much never changed them. Ah well.
But that's it. The other games have done absolutely nothing for me and here's why: they're the same fucking game.
The same characters are in every game. Don't waste my time trying to say they're not. The androgynous hero who is a tortured soul and more often than not has some glaring familial issue (almost always daddy); the love interest who is either too proud or too callow to admit their feelings until the very end of the game when the whole point is moot anyway; the plucky female character who takes on a strange pseudo-sexual little sister role; the cocky male buddy/bromance; the dark, mysterious person who, it will always be revealed, has some sort of connection with the evil entity in the game; the serious, dark, morose, emo voice of reason (this character can be male or female depending); and "the other," who is generally a different race altogether. It's as if they take the characters, dip them in bleach, paint new faces and hit play. Oh joy.
The same world/scenery/scenario is in every game. Oh sure it has a different name, different ethnicities (except those damn chocobos and cactaurs. They are apparently universal) and different fun diversions, but no matter how many cutesy mini-games, or words or vehicles they put into a game, it's the same story every time: Happy, harmonious people are suddenly disrupted by an evil being/corporation and it's up to our heroes to save the world. Really?
I've not played FFXIII, but looking at it, I can tell it's going to be the same thing. But, like a glutton for punishment, I'm going to rent the damn thing and spend my evenings cursing the banality and triteness of the game, and wishing a pox upon the first born children of SquareEnix.
So I guess the real question is who's the bigger fool: SquareEnix, or me? Don't answer that.
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